Sometimes, one couple can really get into the rocks of their marriage. It is but natural to have disagreements because of differences. But sometimes, one would really need to seek professional help if it's getting destructive and tedious. Who do you go to when you need marriage help?
Marriage counselling has always been offered in America over the years. People who are just planning to get married also go through this process. But mostly, these therapists are sought out by people who need marriage help.
Mostly, when people talk to marriage counsellors, the main thing that these people want is to have their emotional ditch repaired. This is treated with each spouse telling his or her problems to the therapist. The counsellor listens and with his given point of view of things, he tries to mend the relationship by trying to make the other see his or her spouse's point of view. It's all about communication.
People seek marriage help when they can no longer understand their partner and are overwhelmed with how much the disagreement have escalated. The third person listens and interacts with them. He tries to shed light to what is really happening.
They say that most common cases that marriage counsellors experience are when the husband or wife commits infidelity. It's obviously something that they cannot talk about themselves and would require a professional's help.
Most therapists would require that the couple go to the sessions together or if they're really in a rough patch, meet there. They do the sessions together and the therapist will see firsthand how they interact with each other. The counsellor would try to show the couple what has been missing in the relationship and gear them towards realizing what they can both do about it. He will try to direct the conversation into how they can change and improve their current situation.
At the end of each marriage counselling session, improvements on the couple's situation is worked on. The couple would usually be given tasks or assignments that they must do (whether they would like it initially or not) which will be followed up on the next session. Notes are made and the therapist would work on the negative patterns that he sees in the interaction as well as try to understand the causes of the couple's reaction to each other. From one session to the next, the spouses would have ideally been able to settle the root of their disagreements and have moved on from it.
In finding the right marriage counsellor, make sure that the therapist is someone that both you and your spouse can be at ease with. It must be someone that has your confidence and trust. Recommendations from friends and colleagues are welcome. Make sure that he is a licensed professional.
Asking for help when your marriage is at tatters and is on the brink of divorce is the most logical thing to do. As long as both parties are willing to still go on with their lives together, they can try to still patch it up. After all, as they say, it's better for a couple to argue because they still want to work things out; rather than no longer being interested to continue.