Happy couple surfing

Find common ground

You’re not going to like everything he likes (and nor should you have to), but finding something significant the two of you can really bond over is an effective step towards securing someone’s interest. It could be a sport (do you both play baseball, love football?), a cause (do you support the same charity?), a passion (do you both love to travel, surf or follow the same band?), but the key is to find that common ground and then use it to build your bond.

Get in with his friends

If he introduces you to his friends, that’s a good sign. If his friends like you, that’s an even better sign. The “friend test” is something we all do and one that can be an important factor in whether or not two people will stay together past the “just seeing each other” phase. Work on being as relaxed as possible around his friends, make them laugh and show that you can easily integrate into the group.

Project confidence

Confident people get what they want — jobs, promotions and yes, even love interests. So before you start giving into shyness, allowing yourself to feel like he’s too good for you or that you can’t possibly be the right woman for him, take a deep breath and dig deep to embrace your confident side. This doesn’t mean being conceited or demanding, but simply showing that you believe in yourself and know how to get what you want.

Be around — but not too much

You don’t want to play games, but you also don’t want to be at his beck and call. If he thinks he’s the one in control, he may lose interest since there’s no longer any challenge involved. You want to keep things interesting by being around, but not available every time he calls or texts. Give him the impression that you like him, but that you also have a life outside of your time spent together. It will give him time to miss having your around, which is important.

Let him feel needed

Asking a guy for help can boost his confidence. You definitely don’t want to come across as needy, but you do want him to feel like he’s a significant part of your life. Ask his opinion, confide in him about anything you need some input about or simply see if he can help you fix something or get something done. You don’t want to come off as a damsel in distress, but it can help the two of you get closer if he feels like he’s providing you with something you need.

Watch: First loves

Kate Walsh asks her mom about her first love and how different relationships were in the past.

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